We are living a very unusual situation in Haiti. Specially in my Community. As a fan of action movies, I am used to hearing the sounds and seeing the effects of war guns. But I did not expect to seeing civilians with such guns around my neighborhood. I do not have any problem seeing a police officer or a soldier with any kind of gun. I know that they know what they are doing, that they are not here to harm anybody. They can control their emotions and will fire when needed and they will protect and serve the population. Imagine how I feel when I have to go back and forth seeing people walking, standing or sitting with these guns. I do not know their intentions and I know what their guns can do.

I had to cross their space to drop my daughter to school. I could see the fear in the eyes of the older one. She is 5 years old. I remember one day, we were coming across one young man with a big gun, my older daughter changes the side, because she was in the side that would meet him. I had to live that for a couple of months. These people party a lot in many places around the neighborhood. Right in the middle of the lane/street. They make loud music with indecent slogan and they fire from time to time. At times, they do it from the afternoon and continue it all night.

During that time, I continue to go to seminary. With this pressure, I continued to study. We always had alerts on other gangs willing to come to attack the community because they are not friend of the gang member leading the area where my community is. But nothing really happened until January and early February.

From the second week of February, people start to do manifestation, lots of damages have been registered all around Port-au-Prince. But at the end of February, things have changed. People with lots of guns start a movement in the streets. They block neighborhoods and communities. People have to take a motorcycle to move around or walk to reach a certain point where they can find public transportation. The routes/trajectory of these ‘tap tap’ and buses are very limited to the areas where police stations and important government’s buildings are. Later, gangs start to attack police stations and moving around neighborhoods with war guns on pickups and motorcycles. And we start to hear lots of gunshots during the days and nights all around the neighborhood. Sometimes, they pass and ask everybody to get in their houses and shot their doors because they will be operating. They shoot a lot. The sounds of these guns shake houses. They are so loud and unpredictable. I can hear different sounds one louder than other: automatic, semi-automatic and full-automatic.

And we start to hearing that police officers are facing them. And bullets start to fly all over. People keep on testifying to find bullets in their yards, their homes and they start to leave where they are living. It became so ugly that the seminary was forced to close its doors. We could not even finish the Midterm exam se were supposed to having at the beginning of March. Professors had to adjust their methods and schedule. Now we are using Google Classroom for quizzes, exams, documents, and to submit our academic papers. We use WhatsApp to receive voice notes, group calls from the professors and to message them our questions. We also use Google Meet and Zoom for live sessions. Even in the middle of the chaos, we still have academic goals to meet.

In my case, it’s difficult to concentrate. The situation is uncertain and I can hear heavy gunshots for hours in the neighborhood. To tell the truth, they do not attack anybody’s home. They are just around, shooting. Sometimes they are confronting the police officers that are trying to unblock the main street. The frustration is when you have some pages to read on a book so that you can make a commentary to submit to the professor and you cannot do it because of these movements happening around. The girls are not in peace. They are terrified. You can see the fear on their eyes. They keep on watching me to know what is my commend and recommendation. I need to reassure them, to give them some kind of distraction so that they can forget the scary sound they are listening around the neighborhood. I also need to keep the conversation with the Direction of the organization that I am working for so that I can know what their decisions are.

It's a little bit calm in the moment that I am writing that, around my neighborhood. But it’s not the reality for some other areas. I consider myself fortunate because I do not have energy problem and I have a fare internet connection that makes me available to attend classes, to communicate with friends, relatives and the Direction of my work and to submit my works through the platforms. I am thankful for life, for the family, work, and church. The church where I go is very close to my house. It’s easy to get there and I always attend church during these periods of hard time. We always have services and meeting many times during the week.

It’s still very risky, specially when we take the road to get something for the family or do something for work. It's scary to see how empty, ugly, and dirty streets are. People are moving very fast with fear because anything can happen at any time. In some areas of Port-au-Prince, schools are working. People just do not were their uniform. Some companies keep on working or work intermittently when they can. Some companies are reducing the number of their staff.

In many places, people still can find what they want to eat. Haitian people eat what they can find. We already did not have many things to choose from. In the community, you find some young people gather to talk about the situation, to tell jokes and laugh. Some are listening to music, singing. They are finding a way to take their minds away from what’s happening. Some people gather together to pray and some churches are having prayer services to ask God’s help and mercy. If you are outside of this, we could ask how people can bear what you are seeing in the news. You’re right, things are bad, especially around Port-au-Prince but we are finding a way. But in other areas of the country, things are normal. Schools are open and people are doing their activities. I know, you do not understand that. I don’t either. But it’s the reality.

We keep on messaging and calling friends, parents and relatives to know how they are. What they are facing. Situations are different from an area to another. But we keep on praying God for his mercy and his guidance to help the nation find its way to peace and development. We also have lots of friends in other countries praying for us too. People we do not know and do not necessarily know us a person, either. I wanted to thank them, and I believe this won’t last.