Disclaimer:  This is not my usual, upbeat share.  But this is reality.

This is raw, honest truth.  The last two months have presented so many challenges that if I tried to write them all down, I know I would 1) become overwhelmed and 2) forget so much.  Every day it seems that if I get my head above water, another unexpected wave comes at me. And it’s not just me. It’s many of us in leadership at Haiti Awake.

Tomorrow is the first day of our 5th summer at Haiti Awake.  And most of us in leadership are going into it weary, drained.  For some of us, it’s been personal issues that have weighed us down - real issues like death and grief, health and uncertainty, betrayal and mistrust.  For all of us, it’s the political uncertainties that continue to swirl, the watching of people we love struggle in an economy that is becoming more depressed, the hearing of untruth and half-truths about a people and place we hold dear to our hearts.

I have no doubt that God intends this for our good, to grow us, to stretch us, to cause us to depend on Him.  But . . . it’s still hard in the moment.

I know some times people look at social media and see the happiness and the joy, and they get the idea that life at Haiti Awake is all smiles and laughter.  It’s not.

What I don’t share is the sorrow, the pain, the times when all I can do is deep, ugly cry . . . and hope I got at least a small percentage of the sadness out.

I have absolutely no doubt about my love for Haiti, my love for the people that God has put in our Haiti Awake family, and my long-term commitment to walk with people there.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy because the truth is in Haiti I find my greatest joys - and my greatest sorrows.  And some days it’s difficult to separate the two.

So today, I ask for your prayers for me, for our leadership team, for our interns - for all of us.  Pray that we will know less fear and more faith; less hesitancy and more certainty; less regret and more intensity.

Pray that we will live out Ephesians 6:10-18.   That we will STAND.

We can not know what the summer will bring.  Every single summer brings its own unique situations, its own challenges. But this is what we do know.   Our God is in control. And He knows our future. And because of that we can stand on the truth of Psalm 62:1-2: “In God alone my soul finds rest; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”

I love this quote from John Piper:

We've done everything in our power to prepare for the summer.  Ultimately it is in God's hands. And now, we’ll stand together.  As a team. Trusting that God will continue to direct us and give us what we need.

Because really, it's all about Him.  It's not about us. It never was. This is His story.  And He is a gifted author.

—Becky Graves, Executive Director